


kill our way to heaven.

by Laeana



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Boys Kissing, Cute, Falling In Love, Fear, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Heartbreak, Idiots in Love, Insecure Lando, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Esteem Issues, Short & Sweet, and carlos loves it though, lando is a drama queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27063916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: “It was a broken heart, I got dumped.”
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	kill our way to heaven.

“It was a broken heart, I got dumped.”

Lando says this and maybe, maybe no one pays really attention to those words. Sure, people think about it but they soon forget it when a real reason for the pain he felt these last days is exposed.

But it’s still the truth, not entirely. He knows he’s being overly dramatic but he feels like he can be, for once.

He smiles, he plays along.

And yet it still hurts deep inside.

One year of pure delight to end just like this. And their last season together, in the same team, almost wasted by the pandemic. He can’t believe it’s real, he can’t believe that time is passing so fast and that nothing can stop it.

It’s not fair. It’s not,  _ freaking _ , fair.

The confinement passed really weirdly and then Carlos was calling him, telling him he had received a call from Ferrari, that they wanted him in the team.

He heard the excitement in his voice, he saw how his eyes were bright and how his face was lightening up the more he was talking about this seat.

How could he ask him to stay ?

In truth, he would’ve begged him to stay if he hadn’t so much dignity. Inner dignity and he can’t be selfish on that kind of thing when it doesn’t even concern him. It’s not supposed to concern him.

Carlos doesn’t love him and they aren’t in a relationship anyway.

Fuck.

He hates being so young. He hates the fact he felt in love so easily, so helplessly for someone. Carlos just became his someone. So easily. Always to care about him, to be here for him and gosh … gosh he’s beautiful. 

And Lando feels so … so young, inexperienced, he feels like he still has days ahead of him and that he’s missing a lot of things. 

And Carlos has a girlfriend.

He thinks time will help him. Disappointment can’t be erased over a night but months, maybe a year can do it. He’s sure of that.

After saying this sentence, he regrets it a bit. Because if he thought no one would really pay attention to his words, Carlos is a pain in his ass at this point.

He felt how the Spaniard eyed him, questioning, curious.

And getting out of the room helped nothing.

“You were dating someone?” asked the older one and all he could think was  _ oh no _ .

He didn’t answer.

“Why didn’t I know about it ? What happened for you to get dumped ? Are you okay now ?”

“Just shut up, Carlos.” he hissed and he regretted his burst not long after it.

“Lando !” Charles called after him and he immediately saw a way to escape.

He thought Carlos would soon forget about it. But the worst part is that he actually didn’t ! He didn’t and gosh, he would have done anything to stop the questions from coming.

Randomly putted.

_ “Do I know this girl ?” _

_ “Did you have sex with her ?”  _

_ “How long did your relationship last ?” _

_ “Was it even a girl?” _

When he hears the last question, he can’t help but choke on his water. Violently. 

“Does that mean I’m right ?”

“Goddamn, Carlos, why does it matter ?”

But the Spaniard doesn’t answer either. When Lando turns his head towards him, he finds him with a dark glow in his eyes. Desire ? 

He blinks, unsure. 

But it is. It is desire. And lust. And jealousy. He doesn’t understand, he has a hard time understanding it. 

Carlos sighs.

“You … you don’t make it easy you know.”

He shakes his head from left to right. He doesn’t want to understand because, anyway, he never thought it could happen.

It’s not happening. It’s not happening in front of him.

“Do I have to say it out loud ?”

Lando turns his head slightly. He nods under his teammate’s persistent gaze.

“Dios !”

The hand of Carlos lands on the back of his neck and he’s drawn towards him quickly. A kiss. Lips on lips. Plump lips. A tongue against his and suddenly Lando feels so hot. He can’t believe it.

He’s so shocked that for a moment he forgets that he has to respond to the kiss. Carlos steps back and he stays stunned, blinking hardly, trying to figure out what just happened.

“I’m leaving the team” the older one says quietly “but I don’t want to leave you. And it was stupid from me to … to do this. I can’t help but be jealous about what you’re saying.”

“Carlos …”

His teammate just sits. Every noise coming from the paddock, from the people packing up their things, ready to head to the next GP, seem so loud at this moment. The silence is terrifying. Heavy.

Carlos laughs sadly, putting his face in his hands, defeatist.

“I want to say that I can comfort you, that I can take the place of whoever was before me but that’s useless if you don’t want me. What did I just do ?”

“You … you want me ?” Lando asks softly and Carlos raises slowly his head when he hears this question “You love me ?”

“I mean … isn’t that obvious now, cabrón?”

First, he stops himself from doing anything stupid. He breathes in and out. But no matter how hard he tries to stay calm he can’t help the whirlwind of thoughts that is hitting him. Such a …

They are both idiots aren’t they ?

“I know, I … couldn’t believe it.” he has a small smile “I was being a dumbass.”

Lando squats down to be at Carlos’ level.

“It was surely a broken heart and I was dumped but not as you may think. The truth is that …”

He exhales strongly, searching for a bit of bravery.

“The truth is that I love you a bit too much. And that you leaving broke my heart. I never thought you could love me. At all.”

“I dumped you even though we weren’t even in a relationship?” questions the Spaniard and he seems incredulous.

“Hem … yes?” 

Carlos starts to laugh a bit and he must admit that he feels a bit outraged. But at the same time, he likes this laugh. He likes hearing it and he likes all those times where they burst of laughter both of them and people comment how funny it is that their laughs look similar.

“You’re full of surprise, Lando. That’s a thing I really love about you.”

He blushes.

“I …”

It’s weak and Lando can’t even find the right words. He feels incredibly happy right now. Almost high.

“What do you think about being in a relationship with me ? For real, this time.”

He stands up, his knees numb. He closes his eyes. He feels so dazed. What if it wasn’t real ? He’s so scared of that. It’s not a dream, right ?

“Of course, I want that. So much.”

When Lando opens his eyes, Carlos is in front of him with a bright smile. He knows they may be in trouble if anyone enters the room and sees them without masks on, so close from each other and at the same time it’s supposed to be the last of his concerns. 

“Can I ?”

He can feel Carlos’ breath on his lips.

He makes the first step and comes to kiss those lips for the second time of the day. He feels the Spaniard smile against his lips. It goes on. Again and again. Until they are left breathless and he feels numb once again but not for the same reasons. His skin itches a bit. His lips feel strange. He never kissed so much, so intensely.

And he feels like he could get used to it.

“Aren’t you too much of a drama queen sometimes, cariño ?”

He smiles again, letting his head rest against his shoulder.

“Only for you, Carlos.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> so ... i wrote this really quickly, it's an idea that stuck in my head and like it wasn't much used I thought I could at least give it a try ! I haven't write a carlando since a bit too long so I was ... happy to come back to it, even though I still have too many other things to do !! Thanks for reading what I wrote :)
> 
> tumblr : laeana


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